You are not going out looking like that are you???

*look in mirror*

*lean against bathroom counter to get a closer look*

*sit on bathroom counter to get an even closer look*

What the hell is on the side of my face???

*move hand up and down the side of my face*

*run downstairs to find Clint in the "man cave"*

Me:  Clint!  What the hell is all over the side of my face?

*leaning very close to Clint*

*Clint pushes me back some*

Clint:  No idea.  You are way to close for me to see anything ... except maybe smell your hair.

Me:  See!!!  THIS!!!

*moving finger in circular motion around entire head*

Clint:  What am I looking for exactly?

Me:  See!!!  All these tiny bumps that are on one side of my forehead.

*pointing frantically at forehead*

Me:  AND these bumps!!!

*pointing towards my cheek*

Me:  AND THESE!!!

*pointing finger frantically all over my neck*

*Clint squinting to see because it is so darn dark down in the man cave*

Eythen:  All I see is that big dot right there.
*Eythen pointing at the center of his cheek*

Me:  That is a ZIT!  But thanks a million for pointing out the huge mountatin on my face.

Clint:  OH!!!  I do see all the bumps.  Good news is though ... people will most likely see that zit ... and not the bumps on your face.

*flashing Clint a dirty look*

*Clint not even noticing that I flash him a dirty look because it is so darn dark down in the "man cave"

Me:  The only thing I have done different is take those darn cinnamon pills at my Mom's house.  I have got to be allergic to them.

Clint:  How many did you take?

Me:  4 ... errr ... maybe 5???

Clint:  How many are you suspose to take?

Me:  1 ... errr ... maybe 2?  No ... I think it is 3!  Yeah ... well ... maybe?  I don't know!

Clint:  Move babe.  You are blocking the projector and this is a big game.

*giving Clint a F-U look*

Clint:  Take a Benadryl.  See if that helps.

*all the while ... Clint is staring at the projector screen*

flash forward to the next morning ...

*go to bathroom mirror and scan my face to see if the bumps spread everywhere else*

*damn zit is still there*

*debate with myself on if the bumps are not as red and noticable*

*spot Clint walking down the hallway*

*leap out of the bathroom to get his opinion on the status of my stupid cinnamon allergic reaction*

Me:  HEY!

*Clint flashes me a look as if to say ... I am pretty sure my wife is on drugs because she is leaping out of the bathroom at a really quick pace while trying to tackle my down the hallway*

Clint:  Huh?

Me:  It looks better!  Right?

*pointing finger around the spotted area on my forehead, cheek and neck*

Clint:  OH!!!  Yeah ... that looks bad.

Me:  I thought it looked better?!?!?!

*Clint flashing a look as if to say ... I really hope you are not going out looking like that with me today*

Eythen:  I still see your zit if that helps at all Mom.


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7 stores later ...

4 hours of being dragged up and down isles ...

This is how I found my son in the backseat after our last stop of the day.

I am pretty sure he had lost his mind from all of the chaos that is going on in every single store due to the last minute Christmas shoppers.

You just googled what???

To all of you that blog ... you know what I am talking about when I say the words ...

Blog stats.

To those of you that do not know the "blogging lingo" ...

Blogging stats are a way that you can see who is reading your blog ...

What percentage of a certain country is reading your blog ...

What is your most popular blog post ...

AND ... my favorite part of the stats ...

You can see WHAT someone typed in ... in the Google search bar ... that brought them to YOUR blog.

Oh yes!!!

I am sometimes floored about what some of these odd balls are searching for on the internet ... and how exactly those certain words ... brought them to my blog.

So here it is ...

Some of the bizare Google searches that brought these flakes to my blog ...

1)  Funny cartoons of bitchy cats

2)  Best buy sweep and mop  (no flippin clue how this odd duck got to my blog by searching for a sweep and mop)

3)  Daughter glasses

4)  SAHM shops for husband birthday

5)  Bitchy cats

6)  50's attire

7)  SAHM steel spoons  (do SAHM's need steel spoons???)

8)  Holds open dogs mouth piece (what the f**k?????)

OH!!!  AND ... my newest one ... Hot Ass Mom's (you have GOT to be kidding me)

Well ... no matter how you came across my blog ... I am glad to have ya.  BUT ... while you are here ... then you HAVE to vote for my blog.  Click on the link below and you will cast of vote for my blog.

I deserve a pat on the back ...

I need to take a quick moment of your time to give myself a little "cyber" pat on the back.

Do you see that little cute award plaque on the right side of my blog ...

Right over there ...

See it???

The one that says "Voted Top 115 Parenting Blog" ...

That is a recent award that my blog was just given!!!  I received an email about 3 months ago ... letting me know that my blog was referred to their website.  They were in the process of compling many different parenting blogs ... and was gonna come up with the Top 115 on the internet.

Well ...

A few weeks ago ...

I was sent another email letting me know that my blog made the Top 115 Parenting Blogs on the internet.

Yeah me!!!

I would do a cheerleading jump out of pure excitement ... if it was not for the fact that I would most likely injure myself ...

Then who would run the household???

Hmmm ...

Bed ridden ...

Waited on hand and foot ...

Maybe a cheerleading jump is not such a bad thing?!?!?!


Please take a moment to click on this link below and vote for my blog on the Top Mommy Blogs website.  Thanks a million homies!!!  Peace Out!!!

Look what you can build in a year ...

Last year for Christmas ... Harleigh was CERTAIN that Santa was gonna bring her one of those amazing dollhouses that sit on the top shelf at Hobby Lobby.  She even told Santa that if it took up to much space in his sleigh ... that she would not mind at all ... if he brought it a few days early.

So on Christmas morning ...

While Harleigh was squeeling with delight at this huge box of a ba-zillion wooden pieces that would eventually create a masterpiece ...

Clint was muttering bad words under his breath at Santa's choice of gift.

Let's just say ...

That it ONLY took Clint 346 days ...

12 hours ...

18 minutes ...

34 seconds ...

To FINALLY put this entire dollhouse together.

Just in time for Santa to load up his sleigh with some dollhouse furniture for Harleigh to open up on Christmas morning.  I am CERTAIN that Clint had a LONG chat with Santa ... and DEMANDED that he bring furniture that did NOT require ANY assembly.

It is even more amazing in person!!!

Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  Just click on this itty bitty link below ... and wah-laa!!!

All I want for Christmas ...

The other day Clint informed me that all he wants for Christmas is ...

Me ...

In ...

This ...

He is joking ...

Right?!?!?!

Unfortunately ...

He was dead serious.

I have a better idea though!!!

I personally think THIS screams sexy ...

Or better yet ...

This ...

Don't forget to vote for my blog.  Please just take one moment of your time and click on this link below and cast your vote.

There is no Santa?!?!?

I have been doing everything possible to try to have one more year where Harleigh still believes in Santa.  I know I am on borrowed time.  Last year Breeanna realized that it was really Mommy and Daddy playing Santa on Christmas morning ... and I really do not want Harleigh to loose the "magic" just yet.

So ... I have been doing everything in my Mommy powers to keep the innoncence alive in her sweet little heart and mind.

Which means ... that I might do some of the stupidest and most random things at any given moment ...

Harleigh, Breeanna and I were watching a Christmas movie Saturday afternoon.

Suddenly the Dad in the movie starts talking to the child about Santa.

CRAP!!!

I thought this was a kid friendly movie!?!?!

What the hell?!?!?!

Is this dude gonna say that there is no Santa???

*panic runs through my body*

*the blood rushes to my head*

Guy on TV: Santa?

Kid on TV:  Yeah!  I want Santa to bring me a bike for Christmas.

Guy on TV:  You need to know the truth about Santa.

SHIT!!!

*scrambling for the remote*

Where is the STUPID REMOTE???

I suddenly realize that I have to do something QUICK!!!

Suddenly I start screaming out the most random words.

Me:  DINOSAUR!  GHOST!  MILK!  SPAGHETTI!  ROAD KILL!  NAIL POLISH!  UNDERWARE!

*Breeanna is laughing at me because she totally gets what I am trying to cover up*

*Harleigh has a dumb founded look on her face while staring at me*

ME:  LIGHT BULB!  BURP!  TOE NAIL!  HAIR SPRAY!  GUMMY BEARS!  MILKSHAKE!

*movie goes to a commercial*

* I search for the remote*

* turn station to the Disney channel*

*avoid making eye contact with Harleigh while she keeps asking me why was I screaming out weird words*

See!!!  Like I said ... I have been doing some of the most random things to try to get one more year out of this Santa bit.

Merry Christmas a wee-bit early.  Click on the link below ... and vote for my blog.

I am not smarter than a 5th grader ...

My oldest is in 5th grade this year.

I know ... I know ... I know ...

I do not look old enough to have a daughter in the 5th grade.

I agree.

This kid has homework on a daily basis.  I do not remember having this much homework in the 5th grade ...

Or maybe I was just not as dedicated as she is to get it all done.

*shrugging*

I do know one thing ... I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader.

For sure homie!

I am pretty sure I get more and more stupid everytime I "attempt" to help the poor child out.  Which means ... I might be making her smartness disapper just by sitting next to me.

Is smartness a word???

Breeanna ... thank your lucky stars you did not take after your Mom in the Math department.


Hold on ... don't go anywhere just yet!!!  Click on the link below and vote for my blog.  One click is all it takes ... then you can go about your merry way.

Funniest thing EVER ...

Disclaimer:  This is not my house ... or my neighbors house.  But I sure wish it was!!!

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Dear Santa:

Is it to much to ask for a maid ... a chef ... a nanny ... and a few more zero's in the bank account?
From:  A Mommy that has been very good all year long ... well ... most of the year.

Please take a moment to vote for my blog.

Shit my son says ...

As I am tucking in Eythen this evening he asked me whom I thought was the smartest person in the family. I replied with "I think everyone is very smart." He looked straight at me and said "It is ok Mom. It is just me and you in here ... you can go ahead and admit that you think it is me."

One click on the link below ... and you will cast a vote for my blog!!!