Life According to a S.A.H.M.

Suck it up Kid ...

2012-02-25T22:12:00.000-06:00

About two weeks ago Harleigh told us that her foot hurt after basketball practice.

We basically told her to "suck it up" ...

And keep on moving.

That is ...

Until ...

This past Tuesday ...

Harleigh got off the bus neary in tears. She was hobbling along with the other kids as they by-passed her along the sidewalk. I could tell she really was hurting ...

Suddenly ...

I flashed back to when I was in the 3rd grade and playing kickball.

It was my turn up to kick ... I kicked the ball ... and suddenly my legs were going faster than my body ... and faster than the ball. I literally fell over the ball ... my foot went one way ... and my body went another.

I am certain it was the most elegant and graceful thing you have ever seen.

I told my Mom after school that my foot hurt really bad ... but she told me to "suck it up".

Yep ... I am turning into my mother. And proud of it. Except for the whole talking to myself bit ... I would rather my sister take that trait. Sorry sis.

The next day ... I stayed home ... and my Dad had to carry me around the house because I could not move my foot.

That afternoon ... my Mom realized that she was up for Parent of the Year ... when she saw my foot swollen and bruised.

I have always given her "crap" about "my foot nearly falling off" through out the years ... and now ... here I am ... with a daughter who has had a hurt foot for 2 weeks now ... and I am up for Parent of the Year ... again!!!

Damn it.

Anyways ... after a couple of hundred dollars on X-Rays ... the doctor told us that Harleigh pulled a bunch of muscles in her foot.

No basketball, dance or gymnastics for the next 2 to 3 weeks.

Oh ... did I mention that she is on crutches for at least a week as well???

*sigh*

AND we live in a two story home ...

*rolling eyes*

AND the size of her elementary school is gi-normous!!!

*insert bad word here*

I will admit ... after 3 kids ... my "judgement skills" of doctor's bill vs. "suck it up" are really cloudy.

I am blaming my Mom on passing this trait onto me.

Oh ... Mom ... I offically forgive you for telling me to "suck it up" all those years ago. *innoncent smile* *batting eyes*

Harleigh heading off to school ...
Possibly her LAST day of having to lug the crutches
through the hallways of the school.
*fingers crossed*

Harleigh standing amongest her basketball team huddle ...

Getting in and out of the Navigator is not the easiest thing to accomplish ...

Day 1 of crutches ...
We made her practice walking in them out in the garage for awhile.

Heading into the school ....
She said her armpits hurt before we even got to the crosswalk.

Harleigh was all smiles at the doctor office ...
Until they told her no basketball or gymanstics
for two whole weeks.

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Pretty please ... with sugar ontop ...

2012-02-24T10:18:00.000-06:00

There will be no blogging today.

Sorry.

But ... I have sick kid in the household.

Again.

Just when one gets over it and I ship them out the door ...

The school calls and has me come and get another one.

*sigh*

While I am playing doctor ...

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Yes ... I might be loosing my mind from "being stuck in the house way to freaking long".

Did I seriously just dream that???

2012-02-23T10:26:00.001-06:00

Falling asleep has been my arch-enemy lately. I go to bed at a normal time ... and then I end up laying there ... staring at the alram clock ...then the wall ... then I listen to Clint snore ... then I stare at the alarm clock ... then the wall ... then I nudge Clint because he is snoring ...

You get the point.

I started taking Tylenol PM every now and then on the nights that I KNOW I need more than 2 hours of sleep in order to make it through the next day.

Last night was one of those nights that I took a Tylenol PM.

I heart the nights that I take Tylenol PM ... because I am sawing logs well before Clint comes to bed. I can claim "my area" on the bed ... and Clint does not try to move me over because he knows that if he wakes me up ... there is a good chance I will not fall back to sleep. So out of pure symphony ... he curls up on the edge of the bed and snores the night away.

Besides being in such a deep sleep that I am certain drool comes out of my mouth most of the nights ... there is another down fall to taking Tyloneol PM.

My dreams are f*ckd up.

Most of the time I wake up thinking "Did I seriously just dream that?"

Here is last nights dream.

It was Halloween ... except no one dressed up in costumes this year. Everyone wore yellow sweatshirts with green poka-dots on it.

The kids and I headed down the block to our neighbor Amanda's house to go trick-or-treating. The kids walk up the driveway ... and Amanda is handing out ponies as treats. Real. Life. Ponies. I looked at Amanda and said "What am I suspose to do with 3 ponies? I was really hoping for a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?" Amanda replied with "I don't want all of these ponies in my back yard. Plus, our pet monkey ate all of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups."

Of course! The pet moneky! I always heard they liked Reese's.

DUH!!!

So we took our 3 ponies and turned up to the next block.

Except ... suddenly this block was not full of cookie cutter houses like it normally is. It is completely out in the middle of the country ... with one home in sight ... it was our friend Kelly's house ... and it was ontop of a tall hill ... and it was neon orange.

Yeah ... I have no idea.

As the children head up the hill ... I walk over to a banana tree ... pick some banana's to feed to the 3 ponies.

I really could not even make this stupid dream up. See why Tylenol PM is amazing ... but creepy at the sametime?!??!

As the kids head up the hill to go trick-or treating I call out to them "Ask Kelly if I can have a glass of wine. I am really thristy."

Suddenly ... out of no where ... there are a heard of adults creeping up to the house ... and putting a "Halloween nativity sceen" on the side of the hill. They have one of those HUGE wooden cards that people put up for Christmas ... except this one says "Happy Halloween". And it has flying elephants all over it.

Yeah ... I have no idea.

When the homeowners came out to give my children their treats ... they noticed the heard of adults hiding behind the Halloween nativity sceen that suddenly appeared in their driveway. The heard of adults starting yelling at me and the kids for ruining their surprise ... and started to chase us.

Luckily for us ... we had 3 ponies to ride and get us the hell out of dodge.

Next thing I remember was the tornado sirens going off as we galloped through town ...

Turns out it was my alarm going off.

Good Morning!

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Sh*t my daughter says ...

2012-02-22T02:15:00.000-06:00

The other day Harleigh informed me that she caught Clint drinking and driving.

After I got over the "I am gonna kill that man when he walks in the door" phase ... I asked Harleigh when exactly did this happen.

She informed me that he bought a Mountain Dew at Quick Trip when they were in Lawrence and drank it on the way home.

Now I must wonder how many teachers she shared this bit of information with ... but failed to mention it was Mountain Dew that Daddy was drinking.

*sigh*

SEE!!! Clint and I are DEFINATELY leaps and bounds head the rest for parents of the year.

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FYI ...

2012-02-20T23:11:00.000-06:00

Seeing a spider in my house is not a problem.

Stepping away to grab a shoe to kill it ... and then coming back and it is gone ... now THAT is a problem!!!

Click on the link below ... and you will make me a happy camper.

Valentine's Day wreath ...

2012-02-20T23:09:00.000-06:00

I love a pretty wreath on my front door ... but can not imagine spending buco-bucks for one.

This wreath cost me all of $25 to make!!!

I KNOW!!!

How awesome is that?!?!?!

I simple bought a clearance wreath from Hobby Lobby ... and went from there.

The sign in the middle that says "Love brings up Home" ... that is simply a cheap frame, scrapbooking paper and scrapbooking letters.

You can add whatever your little heart desires to the sides ... I only made one fabric flower because I did not have enough fabric on hand to make anymore.

I am telling ya ... simple. easy. cheap.

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sigh

2012-02-20T01:50:00.000-06:00

Orange Nerf Gun bullets covering my downstairs can mean only one thing ... Clint had a Nerf Gun war with the kids while I was gone.

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I think I am addicted ...

2012-02-18T14:25:00.001-06:00

Pin . ter . est (n.):
A fun reminder of the clothes I will never be able to afford/fit into, the home decor I will never be able to afford/fit into our small home, the recipes and crafts I am not talented enough to ever make, the sayings I was not clever enough to think of on my own, the photos I wish I had taken but didn't.

That is the definition of the newest craze amongest women on the internet.

Pinterest ...

It has over taken every inch of my being.

I can not stop "pinning" ...

I can not stop thinking of all the things I could create ...

Pinterest truely makes me think that I could take on Martha Stewart ... and kick her ass in the crafting department.

Pinterest is like fantasy football for woman ...

But cooler.

Pinterest makes me feel like I could actually cook some of the receipes on the website.

I really think I need help!!!

Click on this link to follow me on pintrest

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What social life???

2012-02-16T08:53:00.000-06:00

Between the 18 birthday parties and 15 sleepovers that Breeanna has attended so far this past school year ...

I am 99% sure that my 10 year old has more of a social life than Clint and I do.

On the flipside ... I can lay on the couch ... in my pj pants ... and drink wine while all these other Mom's have the sleepover for their children.

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Wordless Wednesday ...

2012-02-15T10:37:00.000-06:00

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Happy Valentine's Day ...

2012-02-14T13:44:00.000-06:00

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Who said Valentine's Day gifts had to be chocolates and roses?!?!?!

2012-02-13T17:48:00.000-06:00

Since tomorrow is Valentine's Day ...

I thought I would give you "last minute shoppers" a few gift ideas for you for that special someone in your life.

Nothing says "love" better than a pink Hello Kitty bad ass gun. And it is also a little bost of security for those moments when your husband pisses you the hell off.

Oh yes!!! The Nipple bra. Could you look more sexy than with your high beams on??? I think not!!! No more hoping that you are nippin out ... now there is a bra that allows you to have that amazing look 24/7. BONUS!

Don't have time to plot out what is gonna go on in the bedroom on Valentine's night??? No need to worry!!! These Sex Shakers will take care of all the debate of which way to do what ... for how long ... and in what position. Thank goodness someone thought of these things ... or Valentine's night might be a big 'ol snore for 98% of America.

I really do not even have something to say about this ~~stupid~~ ~~weird~~ ~~odd ball~~ ~~what the hell~~ contraption. I am left speachless. Although ... I am guessing there are alot of Chinese men that are very happy this invention came about.

On a side note ... the answer is no Clint ... we are not purchasing this.

This is the perfect gift for those men that want a beard ... but does not wanna grow one out. Problem solved! A beanie cap ... with a crocheted beard. What man would not look ubber hot in this get-up?!?!?!

Why waste precious time and energy trying to control the thoughts and actions of your significant other when you can automate the process? Let this cool remotes do it for you. So while I am watching my LifeTime movies in the living room ... I can buzz a smart ass comment to Clint ... who can buzz a whitty reply right back. Who needs communication skills in a marriage when you have this bad ass remote?!?!?!

He will never blame you for loosing your keys ever again ladies!!! Just mount this devine invention to your wall ... and insert your keys into the his and her key holders.

Hurry!!! Before you head off to find something totally amazing for your loved one ... vote for my blog.

Sh*t my son says ...

2012-02-12T02:31:00.000-06:00

Eythen: Bad news is I found a box of Captain Crunch behind my bed. Good news is that I must have ate the whole box before it fell behind my bed so none of it went to waste.

I really could not even make this shit up. This is my life ... and sometimes I think I am being punked.

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sigh

2012-02-11T01:42:00.000-06:00

I swear ... if I did not talk to myself ... the only words I would say some days would be "No" and "Stop tackling your sisters".

*sigh*

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Never a dull moment ... NEVER ...

2012-02-10T00:48:00.000-06:00

*Eythen and Breeanna pretending like they are ninja's in the kitchen*

*While I am dodging their kicks*

*While trying to make dinner before Harleigh has to be out the door for basketball*

*And Breeanna has to be out the door for dance*

*While calling off Eythen's spelling words*

*Wondering when the hell my husband is gonna get home*

*While debating about opening up a bottle of wine and guzzling it down before Clint walks in the door*

*Realizing that if I am drunk when Clint walks in the door then he has to take AND pick up Harleigh from basketball practice*

*Coming to the understanding that if I chug down a second bottle then Clint has to also take Breeanna to AND from dance class*

Breeanna: Watch it! You are gonna kick me in the balls if you are not careful!

*I literally drop a jar of tomato sauce out of pure shock*

Me: What did you just say?

Breeanna: Nothing.

Me: Do you even know what that means?

Breeanna: Kids say it in my class all the time. So I am guessing it is the balls of my feet. Right?

*All the while her and Eythen are still ninja-ing the shit out of each other*

Me: One ... we do not talk like that in our house. Two ... Breeanna ... you do not have balls. End of story.

Eythen: Na-Na-Na-Na-Na ... I have balls and you don't!!!

*Turn and give a "what the f*ck look" to my son*

Me: We do not talk like that. Got it.

Eythen: Well ... I do have balls. Right?

*WHERE the HELL is my husband???*

Me: Uhh ... yeah. But do you have a clue what that means?

Eythen: My butt?

Me: No.

Eythen. Oh WAIT! I know! My friend at school is always saying "Don't hit my balls" and then he grabs himself like this. *grabbing his you know what*

Me: What the hell is happening at recess at your school? Good lord!

Eythen: So were are my balls?

*Damn Clint for working late*

Me: This is a subject that you need to talk to your Dad about.

*14 seconds later*

Eythen: Can I call Dad?

Me: Why?

Eythen: Because I wanna know where my balls are.

*make that 3 bottle of wine that I am debating about chugging down*

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Parent of the Year ... again ...

2012-02-09T09:48:00.000-06:00

The other evening ... the kids were all tucked into bed ... and Clint and I were watching a movie.

Please note ... when the following events took place ... I just wanna point out that there had not been one single "nude" shot. Not one boobie shot. Not one butt shot. Nothing. So you can only imagine our surprise when suddenly there was a guys bare bumm on the screen ... and this went down.

Harleigh" EWWWW!!!

*blood rushes to my head*

*look over and Harleigh is standing at the top of the banister with a disgusted look on her face*

Me: QUICK!!! Pause the TV!!!

*waving my hands all over the place to Clint*

*Clint tries to grab the remote as quickly as he can*

*remote falls to the floor*

*suddenly the remote turns into a fumbled football and Clint and I are lunging for that freaking football*

*Clint pushes pause on the TV*

Harleigh* GROSS!!!

*Clint and I both look back at the TV*

Of all things to be "paused" on the TV ...

You guessed it ...

The guys bare bumm.

*sigh*

Yep ... Clint and I are DEFINATELY gonna win this parent of the year thing.

We have it in the bag.

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Here is to another football season done and over with ...

2012-02-05T03:24:00.000-06:00

YAHOO!!!

YES!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Super Bowl Sunday!!!

It is FINALLY HERE!!!

Although ... I am celebrating it slightly different than most football loving people do.

From Labor Day weekend till Super Bowl Sunday ... my husband lives and breathes this ~~darn~~ ~~stupid~~ ~~annoying~~ sport.

Now go ahead and call me a party pooper all you want ... but I do not like the sport. What. So. Ever.

Yes ... I can hear all of you football fans screaming at me at this very minute. I can hear your "BOOOOO's" right now as a matter of fact. I think I even saw a tomato or two being thrown at me. No wait ... that was an empty beer can.

But ... "Honey Can You Get Me A Beer" Season ... is one I could really live without.

Now don't get me wrong ... I have done the "good wife thing" in the past ... and attended KU football games with Clint ... and have had some great times ... well ... from what I can remember of those paticular Saturdays.

Between the large cooler of beer ...

To the smell of grilling in the air ...

To our KU tent put up with pride ...

Along with ump-teen million cars lined up and down the hill ...

Tailgating is a blast!!!

I will admit that.

But ...

Unfortunately ... when you are dealing with a "Pro Tailgater" like Clint ... it is an accident waiting to happen if your name is Jill ... and it is followed by the name Moore.

Add in the zillion beers that are drank (ok ... maybe not a zillion ... but when you start at sunrise and are still going after sunset ... it might be really close to a zillion beers) and mix that in with a "kid free" day ...

You have a not a so safe situation just waiting to happen.

Just like my Mom always says ... it is all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Well, that person getting hurt ... 95% of the time ... normally is me. And 50% of the time ... it is me falling down the steps at the football stadium.

A little FYI ... ALWAYS ... I repeat ALWAYS ... walk BEHIND me ... NOT infront of me if beer has been involved.

Don't say I did not warn ya.

Just sayin ....

Oh wait ... I need to get back on track here. Where was I? Oh yes ... that's right!!!

YAHOO!!!

YES!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Super Bowl Sunday is FINALLY here!!!

So ... while all of you football addicted peeps ... just like my die hard fan of a husband ... are all hooting and hollaring at the TV on Sunday ... cheering on another football game. Rest assure ... that I will be right there cheering along with all of you ... but for a slightly different reason!!! I will be cheering because... I survived another year of football!!! AND I have nearly 6 full months that I get to have my husband without that darn brown leather thing intrupting my marriage.

GO SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!!!

YES!!!

YAHOO!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Please note ... Of course ... when KU Basketball is on ...

Marriages ...

Parenting ...

Laundry ...

Cooking ...

Cleaning ...

And any other thing that might get in the way ... is put on hold.

But that is a legitament reason.

Admit it ... you know it is!!!

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Shit my son says ...

2012-02-01T20:44:00.000-06:00

Me: Eythen get your shoes on it is time to get out the door for basketball practice.

Eythen: I think I am gonna walk there. See ya.

Me: I don't think so. It is dark outside and you would not be able to see where you are going.

Eythen: My eyes can see in the dark Mom. I am like a ninja.

Clint: The boogie man will get you if you walk in the dark by yourself.

Eythen: Who exactly is this boogie man that you are talking about? I have never met him before. Is he some weird-o or something?

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Incase you were wondering if you "crossed over" from the "young" side to the "old-er" side ... I am here to help! Here are 50 ways to know if you are no longer young and hip.

2012-01-31T17:30:00.000-06:00

1. Your houseplants are alive ... and you can not smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is completely out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in your frig.

4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up ... not when you are getting into bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an "oldie station".

6. You watch the Weather Channel and CNN.

7. Your friends marry and divorce ... instead of "hook up" and "break up".

8. You go from 130 days of vacation ... to 14 days of vacation.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressing up".

10. You are the one calling the police because those *#^@ kids will not turn down their radio.

11. Having sex on the stairs is out of the question.

12. You do not know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down ... and your car pament goes up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet ... instead of left over McDonald's.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. Happy Hour is now considered nap time.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole night ... instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a cheeseburger at 3am would severly upset ... instead of settle ... your stomach.

19. You go to WalGreens for ibuprofen and antacid ... instead of condoms and pregnancy test.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit".

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I use to" ... gets replaced with "I amnever gonna drink that much ever again."

23. 90% of the time you spend infront of the computer ... is for real work.

24. You don't get liquored up at home ... to save money ... before going to a bar. Because ... well ... you no longer go to the bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant ... you congratulate them ... instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"

26. When someone calls your house after 8:00 ... you wonder who the hell is bothering you at that hour.

27. “I went to the bar for a drink Monday night and woke up in a stranger’s front yard with a yet-to-be-determined substance in my hair, and my wallet, car keys and car missing,” is no longer a justifiable reason to take a sick day.

28. MTV News is no longer your sole source of information.

29. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi and Ho-Ho's.

30. You carry an umbrella.

31. A "late night" is now considered 11:00 p.m.

32. All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

33. All your favorite music is in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart.

34. Getting "lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

35. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

36. It's tougher to lose weight ... because over time your body and your fat have became the best of friends.

37. You answer a question with ... "Because I said so!"

38. You are proud of your lawn.

39. You begin every other sentence with ... "Nowadays..."

40. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

41. You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.

42. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

43. You find this list tasteless and insensitive.

44. You know what a Big Chief paper tablet looks like.

45. You look forward to a dull evening.

46. You quit trying to hold your stomach in ... no matter who walks into the room.

47. You shop for health insurance the way you once shopped for a new car.

48. Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio drinking.

49. Your drug of choice is now vitamins.

50. You read this entire list ...desperately for one sign that does not apply to you ... and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

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I'm back bitches!!!

2012-01-30T19:46:00.000-06:00

What's up homies?!?!?!

Long time no blogging ... huh?!?!?!

My household was having some ~~minor~~ major techinal difficulties.

AKA ... our computers (yes ... computerS ... pural ... all of them) broke and we could not figure out what was wrong with them.

I tried to take up a collection with my parents to help put towards a new computer ...

That was a no go.

They told me to buy a lottery ticket and hope for the best.

I tried to convince Clint that the "blogging world" was missing me terribly and he needed to buy me a new laptop ...

That was a no go.

He told me that until my blog was a tax write off ... the "blogging world" would be just fine without me.

Long story short ... some technology ~~geek~~ super hero came over and saved us from technology boredom ... and fixed one of our computers.

So ... I am back bitches!!!

And boy oh boy do we have some catching up to do.

For those of you that contunied to vote for me even when I was MIA ... thanks! Click on the link below ... and vote for my blog. I have alot of catching up to do on the Top Mommy Blogs website.

Sometimes we expect more from others ...

2012-01-08T00:47:00.002-06:00

... because we would be willing to do that much for them.

You are not going out looking like that are you???

2011-12-31T01:51:00.000-06:00

*look in mirror*

*lean against bathroom counter to get a closer look*

*sit on bathroom counter to get an even closer look*

What the hell is on the side of my face???

*move hand up and down the side of my face*

*run downstairs to find Clint in the "man cave"*

Me: Clint! What the hell is all over the side of my face?

*leaning very close to Clint*

*Clint pushes me back some*

Clint: No idea. You are way to close for me to see anything ... except maybe smell your hair.

Me: See!!! THIS!!!

*moving finger in circular motion around entire head*

Clint: What am I looking for exactly?

Me: See!!! All these tiny bumps that are on one side of my forehead.

*pointing frantically at forehead*

Me: AND these bumps!!!

*pointing towards my cheek*

Me: AND THESE!!!

*pointing finger frantically all over my neck*

*Clint squinting to see because it is so darn dark down in the man cave*

Eythen: All I see is that big dot right there.
*Eythen pointing at the center of his cheek*

Me: That is a ZIT! But thanks a million for pointing out the huge mountatin on my face.

Clint: OH!!! I do see all the bumps. Good news is though ... people will most likely see that zit ... and not the bumps on your face.

*flashing Clint a dirty look*

*Clint not even noticing that I flash him a dirty look because it is so darn dark down in the "man cave"

Me: The only thing I have done different is take those darn cinnamon pills at my Mom's house. I have got to be allergic to them.

Clint: How many did you take?

Me: 4 ... errr ... maybe 5???

Clint: How many are you suspose to take?

Me: 1 ... errr ... maybe 2? No ... I think it is 3! Yeah ... well ... maybe? I don't know!

Clint: Move babe. You are blocking the projector and this is a big game.

*giving Clint a F-U look*

Clint: Take a Benadryl. See if that helps.

*all the while ... Clint is staring at the projector screen*

flash forward to the next morning ...

*go to bathroom mirror and scan my face to see if the bumps spread everywhere else*

*damn zit is still there*

*debate with myself on if the bumps are not as red and noticable*

*spot Clint walking down the hallway*

*leap out of the bathroom to get his opinion on the status of my stupid cinnamon allergic reaction*

Me: HEY!

*Clint flashes me a look as if to say ... I am pretty sure my wife is on drugs because she is leaping out of the bathroom at a really quick pace while trying to tackle my down the hallway*

Clint: Huh?

Me: It looks better! Right?

*pointing finger around the spotted area on my forehead, cheek and neck*

Clint: OH!!! Yeah ... that looks bad.

Me: I thought it looked better?!?!?!

*Clint flashing a look as if to say ... I really hope you are not going out looking like that with me today*

Eythen: I still see your zit if that helps at all Mom.

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Merry Christmas to all ...

2011-12-25T21:41:00.000-06:00

And to all ...

A goodnight.

I hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas!!! Please take a quick second and vote for my blog. Just click the link below ... and the vote will be cast.

Merry Christmas from ..

2011-12-24T18:31:00.001-06:00

... our messy, semi-organized, chaotic, shopping-just-got-done, halls-half-decked, behind schedule, imperfect, never-a-dull-moment, maybe-next-year-we-will-start-earlier, warm, happy, full of hugs and giggles house to yours!

Show your Christmas spirit and ... vote for my blog.

2011-12-24T01:14:00.000-06:00

7 stores later ...

4 hours of being dragged up and down isles ...

This is how I found my son in the backseat after our last stop of the day.

I am pretty sure he had lost his mind from all of the chaos that is going on in every single store due to the last minute Christmas shoppers.

You just googled what???

2011-12-22T22:58:00.000-06:00

To all of you that blog ... you know what I am talking about when I say the words ...

Blog stats.

To those of you that do not know the "blogging lingo" ...

Blogging stats are a way that you can see who is reading your blog ...

What percentage of a certain country is reading your blog ...

What is your most popular blog post ...

AND ... my favorite part of the stats ...

You can see WHAT someone typed in ... in the Google search bar ... that brought them to YOUR blog.

Oh yes!!!

I am sometimes floored about what some of these odd balls are searching for on the internet ... and how exactly those certain words ... brought them to my blog.

So here it is ...

Some of the bizare Google searches that brought these flakes to my blog ...

1) Funny cartoons of bitchy cats

2) Best buy sweep and mop (no flippin clue how this odd duck got to my blog by searching for a sweep and mop)

3) Daughter glasses

4) SAHM shops for husband birthday

5) Bitchy cats

6) 50's attire

7) SAHM steel spoons (do SAHM's need steel spoons???)

8) Holds open dogs mouth piece (what the f**k?????)

OH!!! AND ... my newest one ... Hot Ass Mom's (you have GOT to be kidding me)

Well ... no matter how you came across my blog ... I am glad to have ya. BUT ... while you are here ... then you HAVE to vote for my blog. Click on the link below and you will cast of vote for my blog.

I deserve a pat on the back ...

2011-12-19T00:43:00.000-06:00

I need to take a quick moment of your time to give myself a little "cyber" pat on the back.

Do you see that little cute award plaque on the right side of my blog ...

Right over there ...

See it???

The one that says "Voted Top 115 Parenting Blog" ...

That is a recent award that my blog was just given!!! I received an email about 3 months ago ... letting me know that my blog was referred to their website. They were in the process of compling many different parenting blogs ... and was gonna come up with the Top 115 on the internet.

Well ...

A few weeks ago ...

I was sent another email letting me know that my blog made the Top 115 Parenting Blogs on the internet.

Yeah me!!!

I would do a cheerleading jump out of pure excitement ... if it was not for the fact that I would most likely injure myself ...

Then who would run the household???

Hmmm ...

Bed ridden ...

Waited on hand and foot ...

Maybe a cheerleading jump is not such a bad thing?!?!?!

Please take a moment to click on this link below and vote for my blog on the Top Mommy Blogs website. Thanks a million homies!!! Peace Out!!!

Sorry girls ... Mom says I can't date till I am 30 ...

2011-12-17T01:40:00.000-06:00

This is "love note" #6 this school year ...

From 6 different little girls ...

Yeah ...

Uhh ...

I think I might be in trouble in future years.

Don't forget to vote for my blog!!!

Look what you can build in a year ...

2011-12-14T06:48:00.000-06:00

Last year for Christmas ... Harleigh was CERTAIN that Santa was gonna bring her one of those amazing dollhouses that sit on the top shelf at Hobby Lobby. She even told Santa that if it took up to much space in his sleigh ... that she would not mind at all ... if he brought it a few days early.

So on Christmas morning ...

While Harleigh was squeeling with delight at this huge box of a ba-zillion wooden pieces that would eventually create a masterpiece ...

Clint was muttering bad words under his breath at Santa's choice of gift.

Let's just say ...

That it ONLY took Clint 346 days ...

12 hours ...

18 minutes ...

34 seconds ...

To FINALLY put this entire dollhouse together.

Just in time for Santa to load up his sleigh with some dollhouse furniture for Harleigh to open up on Christmas morning. I am CERTAIN that Clint had a LONG chat with Santa ... and DEMANDED that he bring furniture that did NOT require ANY assembly.

It is even more amazing in person!!!

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All I want for Christmas ...

2011-12-12T08:42:00.000-06:00

The other day Clint informed me that all he wants for Christmas is ...

Me ...

In ...

This ...

He is joking ...

Right?!?!?!

Unfortunately ...

He was dead serious.

I have a better idea though!!!

I personally think THIS screams sexy ...

Or better yet ...

This ...

Don't forget to vote for my blog. Please just take one moment of your time and click on this link below and cast your vote.

There is no Santa?!?!?

2011-12-11T17:06:00.000-06:00

I have been doing everything possible to try to have one more year where Harleigh still believes in Santa. I know I am on borrowed time. Last year Breeanna realized that it was really Mommy and Daddy playing Santa on Christmas morning ... and I really do not want Harleigh to loose the "magic" just yet.

So ... I have been doing everything in my Mommy powers to keep the innoncence alive in her sweet little heart and mind.

Which means ... that I might do some of the stupidest and most random things at any given moment ...

Harleigh, Breeanna and I were watching a Christmas movie Saturday afternoon.

Suddenly the Dad in the movie starts talking to the child about Santa.

CRAP!!!

I thought this was a kid friendly movie!?!?!

What the hell?!?!?!

Is this dude gonna say that there is no Santa???

*panic runs through my body*

*the blood rushes to my head*

Guy on TV: Santa?

Kid on TV: Yeah! I want Santa to bring me a bike for Christmas.

Guy on TV: You need to know the truth about Santa.

SHIT!!!

*scrambling for the remote*

Where is the STUPID REMOTE???

I suddenly realize that I have to do something QUICK!!!

Suddenly I start screaming out the most random words.

Me: DINOSAUR! GHOST! MILK! SPAGHETTI! ROAD KILL! NAIL POLISH! UNDERWARE!

*Breeanna is laughing at me because she totally gets what I am trying to cover up*

*Harleigh has a dumb founded look on her face while staring at me*

ME: LIGHT BULB! BURP! TOE NAIL! HAIR SPRAY! GUMMY BEARS! MILKSHAKE!

*movie goes to a commercial*

* I search for the remote*

* turn station to the Disney channel*

*avoid making eye contact with Harleigh while she keeps asking me why was I screaming out weird words*

See!!! Like I said ... I have been doing some of the most random things to try to get one more year out of this Santa bit.

Merry Christmas a wee-bit early. Click on the link below ... and vote for my blog.

I am not smarter than a 5th grader ...

2011-12-08T09:35:00.000-06:00

My oldest is in 5th grade this year.

I know ... I know ... I know ...

I do not look old enough to have a daughter in the 5th grade.

I agree.

This kid has homework on a daily basis. I do not remember having this much homework in the 5th grade ...

Or maybe I was just not as dedicated as she is to get it all done.

*shrugging*

I do know one thing ... I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader.

For sure homie!

I am pretty sure I get more and more stupid everytime I "attempt" to help the poor child out. Which means ... I might be making her smartness disapper just by sitting next to me.

Is smartness a word???

Breeanna ... thank your lucky stars you did not take after your Mom in the Math department.

This is where you will find Breeanna every day after
school for about 2 hours ...

Concentration at it's highest form ...

I think the Jumbo sized pencil helps when it comes to Math ...

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Wordless Wednesday ... plus captions ...

2011-12-06T23:47:00.000-06:00

The girls just got their new Performing Company dance jackets.
They will look so cute wearing them to their dance competitions!!!

Please remember to vote for my blog!!!

Funniest thing EVER ...

2011-12-05T09:37:00.001-06:00

Disclaimer: This is not my house ... or my neighbors house. But I sure wish it was!!!

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Dear Santa:

2011-12-04T12:51:00.000-06:00

Is it to much to ask for a maid ... a chef ... a nanny ... and a few more zero's in the bank account?
From: A Mommy that has been very good all year long ... well ... most of the year.

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Shit my son says ...

2011-12-01T08:27:00.000-06:00

As I am tucking in Eythen this evening he asked me whom I thought was the smartest person in the family. I replied with "I think everyone is very smart." He looked straight at me and said "It is ok Mom. It is just me and you in here ... you can go ahead and admit that you think it is me."

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Things that make me go ... "What the hell?!?!?!" ...

2011-11-30T08:36:00.000-06:00

There are numerous things with this photo that are mind boggling ...

1. Why did he only take ONE shoe off???

2. Why didn't he push in the chair when he got up to leave???

3. Is he walking around the house with ONE shoe on???

4. Does he have both socks on ... or will I find one sock in the bathroom???

5. Where exactly is the other shoe???

6. I really need to mop my floors.

Remember ... click on the link below and vote for my blog!!! Later all ... I have a floor to sweep and mop.

Because I suck at giving presents ...

2011-11-29T09:15:00.000-06:00

For the past two years Clint and I have not done Christmas gifts for one another.

Not because we did not wanna splurge and shower the other with gifts ...

But because we live in a crappy economy ...

And live paycheck to paycheck ...

Like many of you out there ...

So ... we had to do the lame ass "grown up thing" and veoted giving one another gifts ...

And showered the children with gifts instead.

I would just like to state that Momma would LOVE a new KU hoodie or these amazing snow boots!!! I know I know I know ... stupid responsibility.

So ... while I was personally slowing down the internet connection across the world from all of my cyber shopping I was doing the other day ... I came across this amazing Chicago Bears watch that Clint would have LOVED. It was that type of gift that he would TOTALLY realize just how much I loved him from the moment he opened up the box on Christmas morning ... while running towards me to sweep me up in my arms screaming "THANK YOU"!!! Ok ... so maybe that is a slight exaggeration. He would not literally scream "THANK YOU"!!! He would probably kiss me instead.

To top off this amazing watch that I found ... it was so affordable.

AKA ... cheep.

Perhaps ... found in a gumball machine ... type of cheep.

So ... I ordered it.

Two days later ...

The mail came and there were a few packages ...

And some bills ...

Stupid bills.

I figured the packages were things that I had ordered for the kids online. NEVER in a MILLION years did I EVER think that the watch that I ordered ... TWO days ago ... would be in one of the packages.

So ... since I assumed it was just the kids gifts ... and NEVER in a MILLION years did I EVER think that it was the watch ... that I ordered TWO days ago ... I tossed one of the boxes to Clint ... and him open one of them for me.

So you can imagine my surprise ... since NEVER in a MILLION years did I EVER think it was gonna be the watch ... that I ordered TWO days prior ... when Clint had this confused look on his face once he opened the box.

Followed by a "oh my word you suck at giving presents" type of smile.

Damn it!!!

It was the darn watch ... that I had ordered TWO days ago!!! What happened to the post office loosing packages and taking "longer than expected" to arrive due to the holiday season.

*sigh*

I suck at giving presents.

Merry Christmas Clint ... try to act surprised on Christmas morning when you open your Chicago Bears watch.

Oh wait ... you are already wearing it.

Please take a moment and vote for my blog. I would greatly appreciate it. Currently I am ranked #32 on Top Mommy Blogs ... but I wanna be in the top 25 by January 1st. Stay tuned for ways that I try to ~~bribe~~ polietly ask people to vote for me in an upcoming blog post.

Black Friday 2011 ...

2011-11-28T08:55:00.001-06:00

Last year I blogged about our Black Friday experience ...

here ...

here ...

and here ...

This year ... my husband was once again my Black Friday hero.

Our 10 year old daughter has been wanting her own little laptop ... and Target had a really good price for one. But it was a door buster deal. Which meant ... someone was gonna have to go and stand in line to secure one of those little Christmas miracles under the tree for Breeanna.

At 6:30 p.m. Clint came down the stairs announcing that he was gonna head over to Target to be sure he was in front of the line.

Shit ... the dishes were not even clean from Thanksgiving dinner ...

And this man was gonna go and get a place in line just so his dughter could get her laptop under the Christmas tree. What a good Daddy/Husband.

SEE!!!

Black. Friday. Hero.

Sorry ladies ... he is taken.

Besides feeling like Target was hearding customers in like cattle ... Clint said the whole experience went well. He called me once he got the laptop ... and I stated hollaring out different items that I wanted him to grab ... that I had circled in the Target ad.

He. Got. Them. All.

Stop two ... Wal-Mart.

Harleigh so badly wanted a basketball goal. She is CERTAIN that Santa is gonna be bringing this extremely large object in his sleigh. Unfortunately ... three Wal-Mart stores later ... no basketball goal. *sigh* So now ... Santa is gonna have to decide if he wants to pay full price for a basketball goal ... since he did not score a basketball goal at the door buster price on Black Friday. *sigh*

So ... alot of money later ...

Christmas presents are not even close to being done ...

And the checkbook is empty ...

But on the brightside ...

I am married to the Superman of Black Friday.

Please take a moment and vote for my blog. I would really appreciate it. One click on the little box below ... is all it takes.

You would figure that something so simple as snapping a photo would go smoothly ... not in this house.

2011-11-26T01:12:00.000-06:00

People comment every now and then on my kiddos being photogenic.

I would just like to show you the "behind the scences" of getting that ONE perfect photo.

15 minutes later ...

30 photos later ...

I admit defeat.

Remember ... vote for me!!!

Happy Thanksgving/Black Friday Eve ...

2011-11-24T19:12:00.000-06:00

When the kitchen smells spicy and wonderful ...

It can only mean one thing ...

It is not my kitchen!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Before you take a nap from all of the yummy food you have had ... click on the link below and vote for my blog. Nighty night!

One day till Turkey Day (AKA: Black Friday Eve)

2011-11-23T11:02:00.000-06:00

One more day till we do the gobble wobble ... while shakin' and bakin ... then waddle and roll.

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Two days till Turkey Day (AKA: Black Friday Eve)

2011-11-22T14:43:00.000-06:00

May your turkey be plump ...

Your potatoes and gravy never have a lump ...

May your pies take the prize ...

And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs.

Don't forget to vote. 1 second is all it will take.

Three days till Turkey Time (AKA: Eve of Black Friday)

2011-11-21T14:39:00.000-06:00

I think it is a good thing that the Indians gave the Pilgrams a turkey ... and not a donkey.

It would be a little stranger sitting around the table on Thanksgiving Day and have to say ... "Can you pass me some ass?"

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Four Days till Turkey Day (AKA: Black Friday Eve)

2011-11-20T19:00:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving ... the one day it is socially exceptable to stuff bread crumbs up a dead turkey's butt.

Pretty Pretty Please ... with sugar on top ... click on the little box below and vote for my blog. All it takes is clicking the box ... that's it. Then you can go aboutyour merry way.

I am sorry! I can't hear you from all the ringing that is going on in my ears ...

2011-11-18T18:19:00.001-06:00

Two days ago ... Eythen and I were sitting down stairs watching Thomas the Train (one of the MANY days that he has been home from school sick) ... when suddenly the freaking smoke dectors started going off.

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Crap! What do I grab first? The house is gonna burn down! SHIT! We never did set up renters insurance.

*panic running through my sole*

Eythen does not take his eyes off the tv ...

Except to say "Can you turn that thing off? I can't hear the tv."

*roll my eyes at my child*

WAIT!!! It is just the smoke dector in the hallway upstairs going off.

I drag one of the kitchen chairs up the stairs and try to reach the smoke dector.

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Are these beeps getting louder???

Damn.

Low and Behold ... my 5 foot body can not reach the smoke dector with the stupid kitchen chair.

DAMN!

I drag the ladder out of the garage ... up the stairs ... nearly taking out the stupid cat along the way.

How does this stupid ladder even open?

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

SHUT UP!!!

I finally get up the ladder ... pull the battery out of the smoke dector ...

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Mother F**KER!!!

What the hell?!?!?!

Eythen: MOM!!! I can not hear Thomas!!!

Me: I can't hear anything from all the ringing that is going on in my ears!!! I think we are even!!!

I then realize that it is the stupid smoke dector in Clint's and my bedroom going off.

So ... I drag the ladder into our bedroom. Nearly taking out the dog this time.

I pull that battery out ...

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

F**K!!!

Then I notice this button in the center of the smoke dector. I have no idea if it will shut this damn thing up or it direct dials 911 if I push it ... but I take that risk and push it. After all ... if it does direct dial 911 ... maybe they can get this stupid thing to SHUT UP!!!

*silence ... except for the ringing that is going on in my ears*

I text Clint: The smoke dectors are going off.

No reply.

Two hours later ...

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Eythen: Not again!

What the HELL?!?!? The damn thing does not have a battery in it. How in the WOLRD is it going off?!?!?!

This time ... I take the broom up the stairs for reinforcements. I hit it ... once ... maybe twice ... and hit that stupid center button again.

And it stops ...

I text Clint: The smoke dectors are STILL going off.

No reply.

Good thing he is not concerned about his wife going down in flames.

Three hours later Clint comes home ...

Me: Did you get my text?

Clint: Yeah.

*looking straight at him with irritated eyes*

Me: AND?!?!?

Clint: What was I suspose to do about it? I was at work! If the house did burn down ... someone would have to pay for the new furniture.

*sigh*

Me: Go and fix the smoke dector so it does not do it again.

Clint: And what exactly does that entale?

The next day ...

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

You have GOT to be kidding me?!?!?

Eythen: Not again!

This time ... I went up with a broom in one hand ... and a hammer in the other. I was not messing around this time.

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

*whack*

*slap*

*take that bitch*

Silence ...

I text Clint: The stupid things are going off again!

No response.

Two hours later ...

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

I literally debate just leaving the stupid house and sitting in the SUV for the rest of the day until Clint gets home.

*whack*

*slap*

*shut the HELL up*

I text Clint: Yes ... in case you are wondering why I am texting you ... it is just to let you know that the smoke dectors are going off AGAIN! I might be deaf by the time you get home.

No response.

Clint is officially annoying me just as much as this stupid smoke dector.

15 minutes later ...

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

I set there wondering how long one can possible handle these annoying BEEPS.

10 seconds later ...

That's it! This bitch is mine!

This smoke dector is going down!

I might having possibly hit it so many times that it admitted defeat ...

Possibly.

I text Clint: If you come home and there is a hole in the ceiling please ignore it. Yes ... the smoke dectors are going off again!

Clint replied with: It must be from all of your HOTTNESS.

?!?!?!?!

You can not be serious?!?!?!?

I text back: I can not seem to hear you with all the ringing that is going on in my ears.

As we are getting ready for bed later that night ...

Me: Will you just take the smoke dector out of the ceiling please?

Clint: Yeah.

Me: My sanity thanks you.

Clint: My sanity thanks you.

Me: What am I suspose to do if the damn thing still goes off even though it is not hooked up?

Clint: Get the hell out of this haunted house.

Clint takes the smoke dector out of the wall and heads down the stairs to lock up the house.

*beep* *beep*

Me: CLINT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Did you just hear that?!?!? The smoke dector just let out two itty bitty beeps!

Clint: It letting you know who is the boss.

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Come on in ...

2011-11-16T18:01:00.001-06:00

Dirty dishes prove I feed my family ...

A full trash can means I clean up after them ...

Messy floors mean I let my children have fun ...

A pile of laundry means I keep my family in clean clothes ...

A wet bathroom means I bathe my kids.

So the next time you walk into my house and see a "mess" think twice before you judge.

If you come over to see us, come on in...if you're coming over to see my house, please make an appointment.

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Stupid virus ...

2011-11-15T11:06:00.000-06:00

My youngest son has had a fever since he came home from school on Thursday.

Yes ... today is Tuesday.

Yes ... I waited that long before I took him to the doctor.

Yes ... it was slighly embarassing to answer the question "So when did Eythen's symptoms start?"

Yes .... I think I might have officially crossed over to "The Mom that waites WAY to long to take her child to the doctor because she really does not wanna spend $80 on an office visit to walk out with just being told it is a virus and it needs to take it corse" ... aka: Bad Mom.

But ... for the record (so Child Protective Services does not come knocing on my door) ...

The kid never acted like he was sick. Not. Once.

He still ate enough food to qualify as a human garbage disposal.

It was like trying to nail jello to a tree just to get him to lay down for 45 minutes and rest.

It was basically a mission impossible to keep him away from his sisters in hopes of not spreading this crap throughout the house.

*sigh*

It had been back and forth since Friday afternoon ...

One minute I thought he was over it because fever was gone ...

Then the next moment I am trying to find the thermometer ... which we seem to loose on an hourly basis ...

And breaking out the Tylenol.

Perhaps ... I should have taken him on Monday when the fever came back (for the 854th time). But come on ... he is my 3rd child ... and things do not seem as "serious" as they use to be when I just had one child and rushed her to the ER if she had snot running down her nose.

Now a days ... I attempt to cure it with Tylenol.

So ... Monday afternoon I FINALLY made an appointment for him on Tuesday morning. Sure enough ... Tuesday morning ... he did not have a fever. I debated with myself on taking him to the doctor ... or waiting "just one more day". But ... I finally decided that the $80 doctor visit was only one weeks worth of groceries ... and we could live off of Mac-n-Cheese and bologna.

And the verdict was ... A STUPID VIRUS ... go home and give him some more Tylenol if he starts to run a fever again.

DAMN IT!!!

*stomping foot*

I should have stuck with my "neglectful parenting style since I have 3 child and do not wanna spend an arm and a leg at the doctors office because I live paycheck to paycheck" tatitcs.

Here is to a week of Mac-n-Cheese and bologna!! *gag me*

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11/11/11 @ 11:11 p.m.

2011-11-14T14:54:00.000-06:00

This day will never happen again.

It is a once in a lifetime photo moment.

Photo taken on 11/11/11 @ 11:11 p.m.
Although ... I am not 100% sure the
picture was taken at exactly 11:11 p.m.
Every clock in our house says something different.

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How smart can one vechile possibly be???

2011-11-10T17:24:00.000-06:00

There has been a little debate going on in our house since the beginning of summer. It was the great debate of SUV vs. Mini Van. My husband wanted the van because it gets better gas mileage than 2 blocks to a gallon that the SUV's that we have always owned seemed to get. Me on the other hand ... I still wanted a SUV.

After all ... the gas stations always seem to welcome me with open arms everytime me and my gas guzzler pull up.

SUV's are just my cup of tea.

I look cool in them.

Now ... I am not saying YOU are not cool if YOU drive a minivan. I am just saying that I do not look cool in a minivan.

I am not even sure why Clint even brought the idea of a minivan to the table ... did he really think he was gonna win this family debate?!?!? Come on. He can't say no to me.

*wink*

So ... after ALOT of searching. And ALOT of begging and pleading. And ALOT of batting my eyes. Clint bought me a beautiful Lincoln Navigator. It is shiney ... and black ... fully loaded ... and WAY smarter than me.

Since we have driven my pretty pimpin mobile off the car lot ... I have had ALOT of "issuses" with this piece of smart ass metal.

First off ...

I thought I was turning the blinker on ... but instead I pushed the button to make the side mirrors close. Did I mention that it was PITCH BLACK outside and I did not have a CLUE what button I hit to close the side mirrors. So yes ... I had to pull over and get out the owners manual.

Of course their was the moment that ...

I somehow turned on the windshield wippers while driving down the highway. Yet again ... I did not have a CLUE where the darn windshiled wippers button was. So yes ... I drove all the way home ... with the windshield wippers on ... on a day that the sun was shining.

We can not forget ...

The first time I got in the SUV and pulled out of my driveway ... 4 seconds down the road I hear: *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* Now please imagine these *beep*'s REALLY fast and REALLY loud. Almost as if a bomb is about to go off and you need to get the f**k out of the way. Yeah. I slightly peed my pants. Come to find out ... this "luxery" piece of metal will notifiy you INSTANTLY if you do not buckle up and put the darn vechile in drive. It will NOT SHUT OFF. It WILL keep going!

There was the time that ...

I was sitting in the Chipotle parking lot. Minding my own business. Texting my husband a photo of my Chipotle cup. Rubbing in the fact that I was eating Chipotle for lunch and he was having a cold sandwich at work ... when all of the sudden I hear: *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*. SHIT!!! Now what?!??! I am not in drive. I am not moving. I AM buckled. Then I see someone walking close to the backend of my vechile. Come to find out ... I have a device that *beep*'s at me if something (or someone) is behind me. Pro ... if one of my children decide to walk behind me while I am backing out of the driveway. Con ... if I am sitting in the Chipotle parking lot and some dousche bag decides to get to close to my Pimpin SUV and scare the crap out of me.

Then there was the 'oh so embarrassing moment when ...

I was pulling up to Eythen football game ... and needed to roll down my window to pay for the kids and I to get through the gate to go and park. Except ... I had NO FLIPPIN CLUE where the button was to roll down the window. It was NOT in the "normal place" on the drivers side door. Oh no! Not my luxery piece of metal. So ... I had to open my door ... apologize because I was such a moron and could not find the button to roll down MY OWN SUV window ... and pay ... all the while my children were laughing till they had tears falling down their face in the backseat.

Who could forget about the factor that ...

My keychain has a button on it .. that opens up the back window ... on the backend of the vechile. I did not realize that I hit the button. I noticed that there was a red signal that kept flashing on my dashboard that said "lift gate adjar". To begin with ... I had no idea where the "lift gate" even was!!! Which mean ... I had no idea what "lift gate adjar" even meant!!! That was ... until Clint let me know that I was a big 'ol dork ... and opened up the back window on my keychain ... and did not even know it.

I am week two into driving this amazingly intellegant device ... but I am POSITIVE that I will still have some "learning experiences" along the way.

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Life According to a Bitchy Cat ...

2011-11-09T09:46:00.000-06:00

She is back by popular demand!!!

IzzaBell ... the world's bitchest cat!!!

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Trick or treat ...

2011-11-07T08:48:00.000-06:00

Well ... the children finally decided on a costume for Halloween.

And ... it only took 18 different costume changes to finally decide on it.

So without further adieu ...

I present to you ...

Two very cute cowgirls ... and One handsome cowboy.

But through out the night Eythen did tell people that he was a farmer as well. Oh yeah ... at one point in time he told someone that he was Papa Gene (AKA: my Dad whom Eythen thinks is cooler than McDonalds).

I hope all of you had a spooktacular Halloween!!! I have been checking ... and double checking ... the kiddos Halloween candy ... to make sure it is safe and sound. Honestly ... I am still checking some of them. Yes ... this means that I must taste test some of the candy. Especially the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

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Heaven just gained one really cool guy ...

2011-11-05T20:21:00.001-06:00

I have not blogged for a few days because ...

On Tuesday my Grandpa passed away.

He lived a long life ... he was 95 years old. I know he was tired and missing my Grandma terribly and "ready to go" ... but it is still hard to loose a family member. His health had been dwindling for awhile now ... but he still kept on trucking. He kept fighting to see another day.

So when my Mom called at 3:30 on Tuesday ... to tell me that my Grandpa had a heart attack ... and that his body was shutting down ... and it was just a matter of time. My initial reaction was to cry ... but part of me thought that he was gonna be ok. He would be back at home the following day ... listening to his country music. But ... the other part of me ... knew.

Not even two hours later ... the phone rang ... and I saw my Mom's cellphone number on caller id. I sat there staring at the phone ... listening to it ring. I did not really wanna answer it. I guess I kind of thought that if I just ignored it ... then it won't happen.

But ... I still picked up the phone ... and listened to my Mom on the other end of the phone tell me that my Grandpa was no longer with us. Those words are nothing anyone wants to hear. I cried. I cried alot. At one point in time during the night ... as I was sitting on the couch crying ... as Clint was hugging me ... Harleigh (my middle daughter) leaned up against me and said "At least Grandpa and Grandma are back together again. I am sure he missed her awhole bunch." Kids sure do have away of making hard times easier.

Wednesday I was asked to write something that could be read at the funeral. I thought about what I could possibly say about Grandpa on Wednesday ... and by Wednesday evening ... I told Clint that I did not have a clue on where to even begin. Of course ... Clint told me that I would figure it out because I was the best at making words sound perfect. (I am still not sure what he was buttering me up for?!?!?!)

By 8:30 on Thursday morning ... I typed out everything that I wanted to say ... and ready for the world to hear. I put my heart into it. I said everything that made me think of him. I cried the whole time I was typing it. But most importantly ... I wanted my Dad to be proud of what I was saying. Sure I was writing something so Grandpa would know how much I loved and admired him ... but it was also very important for my Dad to know that I was doing it for him as well.

10:00 Friday morning ... my Grandpa was layed to rest ... and this is what they read at the funeral from me ...

I grew up right down the road from my Grandpa ... and have more memories than I even know what to do with. Everytime I sit down ... moments with him throughout my childhood keep flashing back at me. He always went out of his way to be sure that you felt special. If I was home sick for the day ... you could bet your bottom dollar that Grandpa would be making a trip to Kentucky Fried Chicken ... and load me up on mashed potatoes for lunch. It was just a given. He always did it. He always had a way of making you feel like you just colored the most amazing work of art that he ever saw ... even if it was just ripped out of a coloring book. I remember he use to let us earn money by picking up rocks off the sidewalk ... and taught me how to drive a lawn mower. It was the little things that he did ... that made him so special in my heart. You could always count on Grandpa to have candy bars and Pepsi in the frig ... and peanut brittle and chocolate covered peanuts in the house at Christmas time. One thing that I will always remember about my Grandpa ... was that he could rock a pair of overalls, button up shirt and lace up boots like no one else!!! I can still hear his amazing laugh. If I close my eyes I can picture him sitting in his chair in the living room twiddling his thumbs. He was a man of few words ... but when he spoke you always listened. He worked hard during his life ... and had rough hands to prove it ... but still gave the best hugs any grandkid could ask for.

When I heard about Grandpa passing away ... I instanly had visions of Grandma and Grandpa running up to one another up in heaven hugging each other. I could then vision Grandma looking him right in the eyes saying in her stern voice "What took you so long? I have been waiting a long time to see you." As much as we are sad to see him go ... he is back with the woman that he loves. Grandpa is gone ... but never forgotten. I will think of him every single time I look upon the stars ... and I know he will be looking back at me. He was an amazing man who will be missed terribly.

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Day off ...

2011-11-01T12:44:00.000-06:00

I am taking the day off from blogging today.

Yep!!! You read right!!!

October has been one thing after another ...

and I need a break.

On the bright side ...

With October out of the way and November here it means 3 things in my world ...

1. KU Basketball offically begins!!!

2. I am that much closer to having my Grandma's mashed potatoes and gravy on Thanksgiving Day!!!

3. Christmas decorations will be going up REALLY SOON!!!
Yes ... I said really soon!!! I normally put them up the weekend after Halloween ... but Clint refuses to get the boxes down for me until at least 2 weeks after Halloween. And since I have no desire to get on a ladder and dangle from the ceiling trying to pull the boxes off the 10 foot shelves ... I will just go with the flow.

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Fashion icon ...

2011-10-31T08:29:00.001-06:00

My son is one fashion icon!

He has this keen sense for fashion ... and knows what works best with what.

He has mad skills.

He really does.

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Not to brag or anything ...

2011-10-29T12:24:00.000-05:00

but Breeanna is ~~totally~~ ~~kind of~~ ~~sort of~~ famous in the Eudora community.
She is on the advertisement for Amanda's Dance Academy.

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The great Halloween debate ...

2011-10-27T22:50:00.000-05:00

Every year ... every parent ... has to go through the same debate in their house ...
What are the children gonna be for Halloween?

I don't know if it is just MY house ... or if other households are the same ...

But I am officially over the "flip flopping" of costumes.

One minute one child wants to be this ...

One minute one child wants be that ...

Just win I FINALLY think that EVERYONE is good to go ...

Someone changes their mind.

*sigh*

I am so over this debate.

At this point in time ... I think sending them all out the door as "children who drove their Mommy insane and stole her sanity" is the logial way to go.

While I self medicate with a bottle of wine ... enjoy some past Halloween photos.

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Wordless Wednesday (plus captions) ...

2011-10-26T08:52:00.000-05:00

Eythen really wanted to have a photo taken with Big Jay ...
But when we could not seem to be in the
"right place at the right time" ...
he settle for Baby Jay.

Harleigh was on a mission to find Baby Jay.
She seriously giggled with delight when we
tracked down the cute little bird.

All Breeanna wants to be when she grows up is a dance teacher ...
and a Crimson girl.
I think she will be the perfect addition to the KU dance team.

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I swore I would not became "that parent" ...

2011-10-25T08:59:00.000-05:00

Eythen has been playing little league football this year ... and Clint has been coaching his team. I must admit ... I was not sold on the idea of my little man being in pads and helmet ... all the while I sit in the stands holding my breath hoping he does not get hurt. But ... come to find out ... Eythen is a stud out on the field. Who would have thought?!?!?! He has won 4 awards this season so far for his defense and offense skills. He pulls at least 4 flags (aka: this is "tackles" for flag football terms) ... if not more every game. And most importantly ... he REALLY loves it. He can not wait for practice ... and loves game days.

This past Sunday his league began their Super Bowl Tournement. Eythen completely knew the importance of the game. He knew that if they lost ... his season was done. Not to mention ... Eythen is certain that if his little league flag football team wins the Super Bowl ... confetti will fall from the sky, a huge trophy will be handed to him and he will get to wear a hat that says "Eudora Cardinals Super Bowl Champs". I am not sure where he got this idea from ... but he is certain it will happen.

Let me point out ... that I am my child's biggest cheerleader. I hollar "Go Eythen" every now and then ... clap when I am suspose to ... cheer for another child if they do something good ... stare off into space 35% of the time ... and chat with the other Mom' 45% of the other time. I swore I would NEVER be one of "those parents" that screamed at the refs ... cupped my hands around my mouth to scream something at my child ... walk up and down the sidelines following the game as it went down the field. I was not gonna be one of "those parents" that other parents mumbled "geeze" under their breathes because "that parent" was getting out of control.

Nope.

Not. Me.

The game started off like all of the rest of them did this past season. I sat on the bleachers yelling "Go Eythen" while gabbing to the rest of the Mom's sitting around me ... while answering Harleigh every 3 minutes as she asked me "How much longer".

Then one Mom made the comment that the ref's were not being very fair.

I still went on with my gabbing ... not really having a clue what was going on.

Then another Mom made the comment that a kid from the other team kept tackling her child. (There is no tackling in flag football).

I glanced over ... but was not really sure what I was supsose to be looking for.

Then another Mom hollard "Ref's call something would ya".

I shook my head "yes" ... like all the other Mom's were ... but I still had no idea what I was agreeing to.

Then ... suddenly ... this little punk a** kid from the other team pulled MY SON'S arm so hard that it brought Eythen down to the ground.

Uhhh ...

NO!

The next play ... the same stupid #15 for the other team made a bee-line for Eythen and shoved him down. Eythen stood up ... pointed at #15 while looking at the ref's. The ref's did nothing. BUT ... the other teams coach walked up to #15 AND HIGH-FIVED HIM!

Me: Learn some sportsmanship for crying out loud!

Me: You are alright Eythen! Push through that line this time! *said while cupping my hands and screaming extremely loud*

Wait ... is this an outer body experience?!?!? Did I just do that?!?!?!

I looked around to see if other Mom's are whispering about me while giving me the stink-eye.

Nope ... every other Mom is screaming at the ref's as well.

Before I knew it ... I was standing up ... and walking down the field ... play by play.

Everytime Eythen did something great ... I screamed!

Everytime another player from our team did something great ... I screamed!

Everytime that darn #15 from the other team shoved my son down ... I screamed!

Everytime the ref's ignored the tackles and would call a penalty on us instead ... I screamed!

The other coaches were a bunch of dusche bags ... plain and simple. They kept telling their kids to tackle ... and then would go over and congratulated that child right infront of one of Eythen's teammates that were down for the count.

I think all of the Mom's had mild heart attacks by the time it was all said and done ... and was more relieved that our son's did not get injured during the game.

On a side note ... as Eythen, me and the girls were walking back to the SUV after the game ... this is the conversation that happened:

Me: Eythen! I am so proud of you today!

Eythen: I grabbed 4 flags! AND I would of had 2 more if #15 would have stopped grabbing my arm.

Me: I KNOW! #15 did not play very good sportsmanship.

*out of the corner of my eye I notice that the 2 ref's from the game are getting ready to cross pathes with us*

Eythen: I knew every time I was getting shoved it had to be #15. He was strong AND BIG!

Me: *said in a louder voice so the ref's could hear me* The other team did not play very nice today. The ref's should have noticed that they were tackling you guys nonstop and called it. Good thing Eudora played a good game and did not play out of line.

*one ref slightly turns his head to see who is talking*

*I flash a smile and wave*

Darn it!!! Where is my husband when I need him?!?!?! Why couldn't Clint have heard me say that?!?!?! He would have been proud of his "non-football-loving-wife" at that very moment. Suddenly I had visions of Clint high-fiving me. Either that ... or we could have chest-bumped.

I guess you could say ... that I am officially one of "those parents". You may not wanna sit by me in the bleechers. I might get excorted out of the next flag football game.

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Mother of the year award ...

2011-10-24T12:23:00.000-05:00

That's right people!

I got Mother of the Year Award AGAIN!

Don't be hate'in on me.

Just except the fact that I am mad cool!

I am sure you are wondering why I got this amazing award AGAIN?!?!?!

Well ... let's just say ...

That a shiney red razor + my 7 year old son = a HOT MESS!

Oh yes ... that's right.

My son shaved the back of his head.

The other day I told Eythen to go and take a shower. Now ... he normally takes a shower in the kids bathroom ... but Breeanna was taking 9 hours washing her hair this paticular day ... so I told Eythen to go and take a shower in my room.

Mistake #1.

As he is taking a shower ... I even thought to myself ... maybe I should go and check on him. But I didn't.

Mistake #2.

Suddenly ... Eythen comes running towards me crying saying that the back of his head hurt. I instantly check to see what is wrong.

I suddenly realize that he has some blood on the back of his head.

Me: EYTHEN! Are you ok?

I start to scann the rest of him to see if there is blood anywhere else.

Eythen: *sniffle* *sniffle* NO!!!!

Me: What happened?

Eythen: I don't know?

Me: Why is your head bleeding?

Eythen: I don't know!

Then I notice patches of his hair are gone on the back of his head.

Me: Eythen ... why do you have hair missing?

Before he could even take a breath ... I suddenly remembered I had just layed out a brand new bright red razor in our shower.

Mistake #3.

Now ... let me just say that Eythen has never once messed with my razors.

Until today.

Me: Eythen! Did you touch Mommy's razors?

Eythen: I don't know.

I take off to my bathroom to find the bright red razor. And sure enough ... the razor is full of little hair's off the back of Eythen's head.

Crap!

Eythen: If you did not want me to touch it you should not have left it out for me to touch. *sniffle* *sniffle*

Mistake #4.

This is about a week "after" the razor
took off a chunk of my son's head.

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Happy Birthday Harleigh Bug!!!

2011-10-22T22:21:00.001-05:00

My little Harleigh is offically NINE years old today!

*sigh*

*tear fall*

Oh my word!!!

*lots of tears falling*

I can still remember telling people that we were pregnant with Harleigh ... all the while ... Breeanna was only 5 months old at the time.

*yes ... people thought we were completely nuts*

*yes ... people asked us if we knew what birth control was*

She was born with a head full of hair ... in fact ... she left the hospital with two little piggy tails.

She cried more than any infant should cry.

She threw more fits during the terrible 2's ... known to man kind.

She dances to the beat of her own drum.

She loves with all she has.

She wears her heart on her sleeve.

She has the cutest little button nose and little round tussie.

She loves shoes ... and wants one in every color.

She can flip and turn at gymnastics ... and dribble and shoot a basketball.

She tries her hardest at everything that she does ... but if she does not have an interest in it ... forget about it ... she is not gonna try it.

She gives the best hugs ... and always has a smile on her face.

She got the nickname "Bugs" the moment she was born ... and everyone still calls her it to this day.

She is one of the most amazing children in the world ... and I am not just saying that because she is my daughter.

She will talk your ear off ... and is full of the most random knowledge.

She is one smart cookie ... and is not afraid to let you know how smart she truely is.

She was the perfect addition to our family 9 years ago ... and our lives have never been the same since she came out screaming.

We love you Harleigh Bug. Happy 9th Birthday to you!

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My eyes are burning ...

2011-10-21T01:16:00.000-05:00

The other day ~~I told Clint~~ Clint decided to make his homemade onion rings and grill some juicy hamburgers. These ~~world famous~~ really yummy onions rings do have a few down falls.

1. Clint and I end up eating them just as fast as he pulls them out of the grease ... and we end up being to full to eat the hamburgers by the time they are done.

2. They are full of grease.

3. While Clint is slicing up the onions ... everyone within a 10 feet radius of Clint ... eyes are burning and watering.

Not only are these onion rings ~~world famous~~ really yummy ...

But it means that I do not have to cook.

This is the solution that Breeanna came up with to help with issue #3.

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Will the toothfairy come again???

2011-10-20T12:42:00.000-05:00

In a previous post I told you about Eythen having his first visit from the toothfairy.
The following night I noticed he had another "tooth container" with a hot pink string sitting on his bookshelf.

Now ... I found it odd that this tooth container was there for a few reasons:

1. I was CERTAIN that the toothfairy took Eythen's teeth when she paid him a visit last night before she brushed her teeth and went to bed.

2. I was CERTAIN that Eythen's tooth container had a blue string ... not a hot pink string.

3. I was pretty sure that this tooth container belonged to Harleigh because she left strict instructions for the toothfairy that she wanted to keep her teeth last summer.

So ... needless to say ... my very clever son decided to test out the toothfairy and see if he left some more teeth (even if they came out of someone elses mouth) if he could score some more money.

Nice try kid!!!

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Worldess Wednesday (plus caption) ...

2011-10-19T08:04:00.000-05:00

If is offical ... the Moore children are
ready for the cold winter days!

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The toothfairy is coming ...

2011-10-18T08:50:00.000-05:00

Eythen FINALLY lost his bottom two teeth. The poor boy has swore up and down for the past year that one of his teeth were loose ... and it was gonna fall out any minute. So you can only imagine ... that when we had our last cleaning at the dentsit office ... and they suggested that Eythen should have his bottom two teeth pulled out to make room for the adult teeth coming in ... Eythen was BEYOND thrilled.

He walked in with his blankie ... for moral support ... and to make him "brave".

And he walked out ALL SMILES ... minus two teeth.

He could hardly wait to show the world that his two bottom teeth were gone.

More importantly ... he was ready for the tooth fairy to FINALLY come and pay him a visit.

*flash forward to bedtime*

*Eythen and I walking up the stairs so I can tuck him in for bed*

Eythen: So how exactly does this toothfairy thing work, Mom? Do I leave my teeth under my pillow? Does the toothfairy take my teeth?

Harleigh: If you want to keep your teeth Eythen ... just leave a note for the toothfairy ... and she will leave them.

Eythen: I could really care less about the teeth. I am more interested in the money.

Me: Let's put your teeth on your bookshelf ... and I am sure the toothfairy will find them with no problem.

When I ... I mean ... the toothfairy went upstairs to get the
teeth and leave the money ...
this is what I ... I mean ... the toothfairy found.

Eythen and his toothless smile ...

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Is it November yet ...

2011-10-13T20:26:00.001-05:00

Ok ... I need to have a little pitty party for myself. And since I do not have a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows in ... I am just gonna have to tell the whole internet world about my problems.

So settle in people ...

It is gonna be a long and bumpy ride.

At the begining of every school year Clint and I promise one another that we are not gonna bite off more than we can chew with the kids activities. Every year we promise it ... but ... every year we some how convince ourselves that it is ok to add on one thing here or there.

Every darn year.

This year ...

I am pretty sure we are in way over our heads ...

Literally.

Which ... is why I can NOT WAIT for October to be over. October means I get to take a few activites off my list and toss them in the "My children better look back and realize how much their Dad and I have done for them and truely appreciate it" pile. That pile is right next to the "My kids have no idea how truely lucky they are to have a Mom like me" and to the left of "I would be a millionare if I did not have to pay for all of this crap" pile.

October has been one thing after another in the Moore household. It started of with a "normal busy" ... then slowly progressed into a "I can't catch my breath I need to slow down abit" busy ... and is ending in a "hold on tight because this mother f***er is about to derail" busy.

We always say we are not gonna take so much on ... but where do you draw the line? We want our kids to have all the opportunites that we can possibly give them. We do not ever want them to look back and say "I wish I could have tried ...". We want them to thrive and be the best at the activites that they truely love. So where do we draw the line? When does a parent say "No ... you are already doing to much"? There is a really fine line ... and it is really hard to see when you are trying so hard to do everything possible for your kids. I would give up my wine, pajama pants and hoodie sweatshirts ... if it meant that they could have the option of trying out another activiety in life ... that they might possibly be absolutely amazing at.

Clint and I already on the go nonstop as it is ... but we do it for our kids. We keep the keys in the car every night ... take turns going to and from ... and let out a huge *sigh* at the end of every night as we colapse on the couch next to each other. We do it ... because we want the best for our kids. And truth be told ... come next year ... when kids are signing up for all these activities ... Clint and I will smile and one another ... and answer the kids with a "Sure you can do that".

With out the hussle and bussle in our household ... we would be lost honestly.

But that is not the only thing driving this Momma insane. Oh no! Did you really think you all were gonna get off that easy? Really?

But ... I do not have time to complain anymore ... because Harleigh needs picked up from basketball practice. Then 30 minutes later Breeanna needs picked up from dance class.

Is it November yet???

*sigh*

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I need a little help ...

2011-10-12T15:33:00.001-05:00

Ok ... I need a little help.

My girls attend Amanda's Dance Academy for dance lessons every week.

Breeanna goes 4 times a week ...

Harleigh goes 2 times a week ...

The academy is having a new slogan contest.

Anyone in the academy could enter ...

Breeanna and Harleigh's slogan made the final 4!!!

Here is where you come in ...

If you have a FaceBook page ... could you please vote for my daughters slogan?!?!?

Pretty please?!?!?

All you need to do is click on this link that will take you to Amanda's Dance Academy FaceBook page.

"Like" the page.

Go to the voting area ...

Click on the slogan that says "Where the beat and your feet come together and meet".

And you just casted a vote for my girls to have their slogan be the new catch phrase for Amanda's Dance Academy. And perhaps you might possibly help us win a gift certificate as well. *smile*

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ugh ...

2011-10-07T18:10:00.002-05:00

I am not feeling so well today ... so I am gonna skip the blogging thing ... and stay in bed as much as possible.

I put Clint in charge of dinner ... which means he ordered pizza.

I put Eythen in charge of the entertanment for the evening ... which means he voted to rent Transformer 3.

I put Breeanna and Harleigh in charge of being sure the house remained under control while I am up in bed ... which means they are coming up every 15 minutes to update me on something going wrong.

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Another WTF moment ...

2011-10-05T08:54:00.000-05:00

*dryer buzzer goes off*

*I walk towards the dryer while passing by the garage door ... which was open ... which should have been closed because the AC was on*

*go to close the door ... but hear a noise in the garage*

*quickly shut the door incase someone was in the garage ... because I did not have pants on ... and I possibly did not have a bra on either*

Me: Clint! I think someone might be in the garage.

Clint: Huh? Who?

*pulling the clothes out of the dryer*

Me: Huh? I can't hear you in here.

Clint: What? Did you say something?

Me: I have no idea what you are saying!

*Clint walks into the room as I am pulling the clothes out of the dryer*

Clint: What did you say?

Me: Huh? I could not hear you talking in the other room.

Clint: Who is in the house?

Me: Someone is in the house?!?!? I don't have pants on Clint!

Clint: No ... you said someone was in the house.

Me: No ... I said I thought someone was in the garage.

Clint: Who?

Me: I don't know. I shut the door really quickly when I heard a noise in the gargage because of this ...

*waving my hands around my lower half of my body ... pointing out the factor that I do not have pants on*

*Clint opens the garage door*

*Clint shuts the garage door*

Clint: OH! That is just the kids pet turtle that you are hearing.

Me: Oh.

Me: Huh?

Me: A what?

Me: Uhhh?

*really confused look on my face ... because we DO NOT HAVE a pet turtle*

*innoncent smile on Clint's face*

Me: Of course! The kids pet turtle. Of course that was the noise I heard. Of course!

*said with ALOT of sarcasm*

Clint: Oh ... the kids found a turtle down at Dallas's house (our neighbor that is 2 houses down from us) and they wanted to keep it as a pet.

*said like it was no big deal what so ever*

Me: Get rid of the turtle.

I am still ranked #35 on Top Momy Blogs ... thanks for voting for me!

How many hours are in the day?!?!?

2011-10-04T09:55:00.000-05:00

Today is one of those days that there are NOT enough hours in the day.

Not even close.

*sigh*

AND ... there are not enough of me to go around.

*double sigh*

I have exactly 7 1/2 hours till the kids get home to get all the "house duties" taken care of today. And it is a big list today. Since the kids did not have school yesterday ... I put them to work ... but you know how that goes. My 10 year old and 8 year old do a pretty good job ... if they are bribed well enough. My 7 year old ... well ... let's just say ... that I am pretty sure he deliberately throws his dirty underware in the hallway and sticks the Wii remotes on the bathroom counter ... just so I get aggervated enough ... that I take care of his room myself. He learns from the best though ... my husband is the king of "I will get to it" ... and then I end up taking care of it myself. So ... Eythen is just soaking up all of the knowledge that his Daddy is teaching him ... and putting it to use with his Mommy.

Anyways ... It is now 9:30 am and I am already ready for a nap.

*yawn*

Beds are made ... including my sheets and bedspread are in the washer due to the little present that Harleigh's dog decided to leave on my bed this morning.

*sigh*

Dinner is in the oven for this evening.

Clint's lunch is already made for tomorrow and in the frig.

Dishes are washed ... but they are not put away yet. Any volunteers?

Kitchen is scrubbed.

Bathrooms are scrubbed ... except the bathtubs. Any volunteers?

Went and got stamps ... paid bills ... and ran to the post office to mail them all. Stamps are so darn expensive. I am starting to think it might be cheeper to hand deliver some of them anymore. Even if the places are 6 states away.

I went through Eythen's closet and pulled out all of the clothes that will not fit him much longer. When I started this project ... I thought there might be a clothes basket full ... which is why I started the pile in the middle of his room. I thought it would be a quick "in and out" project ... but 45 minutes later ... the pile is up to my hips and 6 piles deep. So ... I am in a bit of a pickle now. I have no where to put the clothes ... and they are in the MIDDLE of my 7 year olds bedroom ... which is plays in every day after school. Crap!

Laundry that I did yesterday ... are all put in drawers and hung up and put away in closests.

I just need to vacuum, sweep and mop. Now ... this HAS to be done while the kids are at school. A MUST. It also has to be done while my hubby is at work. If I fail to do so ... then I will have spilled juice on the kitchen floor 30 minutes after mopping and muddy boot footprints 20 minutes after I mopped. It is just a little known fact. IF I make sure that I do it while no one is in the house ... then I have at least a hour of clean and sparkling floors. Well ... that is until the dog decides to throw up on the kitchen floor ... 15 minutes after I mop.

Once school is out today ... it is go time.

Literally.

Harleigh and Breeanna have private dance lessons first thing this evening.

Breeanna has an away volleyball game shortly after.

Eythen has football practice while Breeanna's volleyball game is going on.

Harleigh has tap/ballet dance class just when Eythen's football practice is just about done and over with.

OH ... did I mention that my hard working husband is working a 16 hour shift ... and will not be home until well after the kids are home and sound asleep.

*head spinning*

I have NO FLIPPING CLUE how single parents do it. God Bless each and every one of them. I would loose my mind. Literally. I already feel like I need to be in a psych ward about 22 hours out of each day ... and that is on a good day. Thank goodness Clint and I have made some amazing friends in this town to help us out in situations like this. You each know who you are ... and we TRUELY appreciate the help that you bless us with on days like this.

Thank you!

We owe each of you amazing friends some wine or beer! Clint is working enough over time this week ... that I will be sure he hits the liquor store on his way home on Friday.

*cheers*

Don't forget to click on the link below ad vote for my. When I checked this morning ... I was ranked #35!!! I could not believe it. Thank you to each of you for voting for my blog. Keep it up ... it means so much to me!

Help please ...

2011-10-03T15:31:00.000-05:00

There is no blogging today.

Nope.

Not gonna do it.

To much to do today ... and not enough hours in the day to squeeze in blogging on the fine Monday afternoon.

The kiddos are home from school today ... so I have been bribing them with cake ... if they help me clean the house.

Needless to say ... a sugar induced clean fest has it's pros and cons.

Before the kiddos realize that I made an escape from the Scrubbing Bubbles to log into the computer and check my email ... check my facebook ... and log into my blog ...

I just wanna take a moment to ~~beg~~ ~~plead~~ ~~demand~~ ask you to vote for my blog. I am currently ranked #43 out of 4285 other amazing Mommy bloggers out there.

So please take a moment ... and click on the cute little link below ... and you will cast a vote for my blog. That is all it takes ... is a single click. Then you are go about your merry way. Thanks!

Here we go again ...

2011-10-03T00:45:00.000-05:00

Here we go again ... it is midnight ... and I am wide awake.

*UGH*

So ... I thought I would do something productive ...

Since cleaning the bathrooms was not on my "productive list" ...

I decided to blog.

Yeah for you!!!

Boo for my toilets and showers!!!

So like many other sleepless nights when I blogged about ~~stupid~~ random thoughts that ran through my head at any given moment in time throughout the day ...

I thought I would share with you some more ~~stupid~~ random thoughts.

I think that my GPS needs to stop telling me to turn at the next corner ... and instead start saying things like: Warm ... Warmer ... No idiot - Cold ... Warmer ... Hot ... Your are freaking on fire!!! You have arrived at your destination. That is more "my terms" ... and perhaps would save me from getting lost so often.

I am pretty sure that the Princles guy ... and the Monopoly guy are related in some way!!!

Why can I remember a friend's middle name from 1st grade ... but I can never remember why I walked into the kitchen?!?!?

My children do not come with instructions. Besides ... if they did ... it would be way to confusing to read and I would not understand them in the least bit.

How is it that dogs can sniff out a bomb ... save a guy from drowing ... keep a blinde person from walking out into traffic ... BUT my daughters dog can NOT figure out how to unwind herself around a tree when her leash gets tangled up in it?!?!?

Definition of DIET ... Do. I. Eat. That.

I sometimes think that if my husbands alarm clock could talk it would say "Get the hell up already" after he hits it for 45 minutes staright.

I do not think it is fair that laundry and dishes multiply faster in my household ... than rabbits.

Dear bowl that keeps coming out of the dishewasher dirty: If you think I am gonna caress you with a sponge ... you are wrong. Back in b*tch. Sincerly - Me

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26 things to expect when having a son ...

2011-09-30T09:51:00.002-05:00

My little man is the BIG SEVEN TODAY!!!

I know EVERYONE says it ... but it really does seem like yesterday that he was born.

It really feels like I blinked ... and he was no longer a baby.

*tear fall*

So ... as I sit here and look back on the last seven years of me being a Mommy to a little guy ... it has made me realize that he has taught me SO much through out the years. I thought I would share some of this very important information to all of you ...

1. ALWAYS check your son's pockets for rocks ... small action figures ... or bugs BEFORE you do his laundry.

2. Speaking of action figures ... they hurt REALLY bad when you step on them in the middle of the night.

3.  Forget about trying to remember all the names to the Thomas the Train "people" ... there are WAY to many. BUT ... rest assure that your son will know EVERY single one of their names.

4. Transformers SUCK at trying to "transform".

5. G.I. Joe's are NOT Barbie dolls.

6. Little boys are ALWAYS hungry ... EVEN IF they just ate 8 chicken nuggets and a medium fry from McDonald's. They will STILL ask for ice cream or half of your hamburger on the way out the door.

7. Boys are a never ending bundle of energy. Even at midnight ... they will still ask you to play a Wii game with them.

8. Oreo cookies ... forget about them lasting more than 24 hours in your household if your son knows that they are in the cabinet.

9. When it comes to your son brushing their teeth ... you MUST remind them to put toothpaste ON the toothbrush. If you fail to do this ... then it is YOUR fault if they choose to just brush their teeth with water.

10.  When you see the cat soaking wet ... rest assure that your son most likely tried to give it a bath in the toilet.

11. Speaking of the toilet ... your son WILL have his hands and feet IN THE TOILET at some point in time. Promise.

12.  Jeans WILL have holes in the knees ... when it comes to your son's jeans.  EVEN IF you just bought them a pair of $40 jeans 2 weeks prior.

13.  Nerf guns will become a permanet ficture in your living room.

14. Fruit chews are considered a fruit in your son's eyes.

15.  Your son would be able to live off of chicken nuggets if you allowed him to attempt it.

16. When it comes to the sand box and your son ... you will have more sand IN your house eventually ... than IN the sandbox. You might as well check his pockets for sand as well ... when it comes to doing his laundry.

17. Speaking of his laundry ... forget about him having matching pairs of socks. Boys loose socks. Period. And if you ask them where they put all of their socks ... you will get the same answer every time ... "I don't know".

18. When you ask your son to pick up his room ... rest assure that you WILL find dirty clothes in their dresser. You WILL find Wii remotes in their book shelf. You WILL find tractors, hot wheels and trains UNDER their covers. You WILL find food wrappers hidden behind the TV stand. You WILL find shoes in the toy box.

19. Your son WILL ruin a brand new outfit that you JUST cut the tags off of within 5 minutes of playing outside.

20.  If you are in your bedroom folding laundry ... and it is quiet down the hall ... something bad is going on. One option could be ... oh I don't know ... perhaps your son coloring all over your living room walls, hallway and kitchen frig with a permanent marker.

21.  When buying a box of dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme ... ALWAYS ... I repeat ALWAYS put them up IN a cabinet. DO NOT leave them ON the cabinet ... in arms reach ... for your son. Otherwise it is YOUR FAULT if he eats a bite out of every single donut.

22. Stains will magically appear on your son's bedroom carpet ... and he will plead the 5th to having food or juice in his room.

23. Even if you daughters have not ONCE got a warning in school for talking or misbehaving in class ... your son WILL. Most likely it will happen often in kindergarten. He might even set the school record for having the most "yellow days" (yellow days are "warnings" at my kiddos school).

24. Get use to ER bills and emergency trips to Wal-Greens when it comes to having a boy in your house. Boys have more bumps, bruises, scraps, cuts, burns and injured body parts than known to man kind.

25. A jump rope can be used for NUMEROUS things when looked at through your son's eyes. He can tie it to the back of his bike ... he can tie it around his sisters neck ... he can attempt to climb a swing set with it ... he can try to use it as a dog leash when he is suspose to take the dog for a walk ... he can leave it laying out in the garage and you can trip over it ... he can use it as a lasso.

26. He can steal your heart from the moment that you lay eyes on him ... and your world will never be the same again. You will wonder what you ever did without him entertaining you and keeping you on your feet. Your heart will melt when he smiles at you. Being a Mommy to a little man ... is the best gift EVER!

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So long summer ...

2011-09-27T18:29:00.000-05:00

So long Summer!!!

I can't say I will miss your extremly hot temperatures that you blessed us with this past summer ...

But I can say that I am SO thrilled that Fall is upon us!

FINALLY!!!

Woot! Woot!

It is time to pack up the swimsuits ... which I personally could not do fast enough!!! Don't get me wrong ... I love going to the pool with my kids ... we live there in the summer. But I just wish that wearing a tent over my swimsuit (perhaps a moo-moo) would work as a fashion icon ... instead of a fashion no-no.

It is time to turn off the AC ... and no longer cringe when the city bill arrives in the mail. If you were anything like us ... we would literally hold our breath ... have a slight panic attack ... and scream when we saw the grand total. Then plan our lunch and dinner menu's around hotdogs and mac-n-cheese in order to pay for the bill.

It is time to put away the flip flops ... and bring out the amazingly soft Ugg Boots.

It is time to pack up the tanktops and short shorts ... and bust out the oversized hoodie sweatshirts and sweatpants. I live for this moment ... I truley LIVE for it. Anything to cover up the stretch marks, belly flab, bat wings under my arms and pale white skin ... I am ALL over it!!!

Which leads me to the next thing ...

It is time for the tan lines to fade away ... and the pastey white dry skin to start to shining through. Literally ... shine. Like a neon becon in the sky ... shine through.

It is time for the puking flu to creep and linger in your house ... and the doctors bills to prove it.

It is time for the your house to start smelling like spices and cinnamon ... and no longer like sun tan lotion.

It is time for the leaves to start turning shades of red, orange and brown ... and no longer a "dead brownish green" color because the sun beat down on the trees ... all day long in 124 degree weather ... and killed it all off.

It is time for the Pumpkin Patches to open ... and the pee filled swimming pools to be drained and shut down.

It is time for cloudy cool days ... and no longer having panic attacks over tornado sirens going off.

It is time for the Mum Flowers to bloom ... and the dead tomato plants to be pulled up and tossed away.
We only got 1 stupid tomato off of our tomato plants this past summer. No matter how much we watered those darn things ... they did not stand a chance in Satan's weather that we had this past summer.

It is time to start making huge pots of chilli ... and no longer serving BLT's for a quick and easy dinner.

It is time to start turning your porch light on at 5:00 ... and mourning the fact that the late night evenings of drinking wine on your back porch while the sun was starting to sit at 9:00pm are done and over with.

It is time for the "ahhh-choos" from the allergies to come in full swing ... and your checkbook to feel the effects of the weekly trips to Wal-Greens to pay for the allergy medicine.

It is time for the cool crisp morning air to arrive ... and the hot as hell-drippy with sweat-can't hardly breath summer air to back its bags and move on.

I just love Fall!!!

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11 years ...

2011-09-23T12:06:00.001-05:00

11 years!!! I have been married for 11 years!!! HOLY ~~SHIT~~ COW!!! Who would have thought that two ~~drunk~~ ~~tipsy~~ completely sober college kids that met at the ~~bar~~ library ... who had their first kiss ~~because someone dared me to go and kiss Clint up in the DJ booth at the bar~~ in the school library ... would have fallen head over heals in love?!?!?!

I sure did!!!

I knew 2 months into Clint and me dating ... that I was gonna marry him.

And everyone should know by now ... I always get what I want.

*wink*

Truthfully ... I am not sure where the past 11 years have went. They say that time flies by when you are having fun ... but I think time flies when you are in love with your perfect match in life.

I am sure it sounds very "cliche" but he really is my bestfriend.

Sure he makes me wanna smack my head into the wall every now and then ... but what marriage would be complete if you did not have a few bruises on the forehead along the way?!?!?

So here we are ... 11 years later ... 3 kids later ... many many MANY moves later ... and we are still tootin on down lifes road together. Hand in hand ...happily in love ... and the best of friends.

And I could not be happier!

Dear totally awesome husband of mine:

I was gonna get you a card that declared my undieing love for you ... but I knew that I would just be the one that ended up putting the card in your sock drawer ... with all the cards that the kids have ever gotten you ... never to be looked at again.

What good is that?

Exactly.

So ... I decided on something WAY better!

I decided to express my undieing love for you on my blog ... for the whole entire WORLD to read!

Awesome ... right?!?!?!

I thought so, too!

Clint ... 11 years ago I walked down the isle on my Dad's arm ... as a young lady ... head over heals in love with you. I was ready to take on the world with you by my side. I was not sure what the future held ... but I was excited to see what it had instore for us. I could hardly wait to say "I do" and become Mrs. MOORE! I was beyond ready for our Happily Ever After.

And ... here we are ... 11 years later ... aftering saying "I do" ... and you still make me smile when you walk into a room. My heart still skips a beat when I hear your voice on the other end of the phone. You are the reason I still draw those silly little hearts on a piece of paper. No one can make me laugh ... when I truely wanna cry ... better than you. You make me feel safe and protected ... no matter what the situation is. With you by my side ... I know that we can accomplish ANYTHING at ANY given moment. You are my bestfriend ... through thick and thin ... and richer or poorer (even though I think the richer part would be so much cooler). We are a perfect fit together. We are a perfect match to walk through life together. We are what love truely looks like.

I love you, Clinton!
XOXOXO - Me

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How many flags?!?!?!

2011-09-21T12:52:00.000-05:00

I first wanna start this blog post off by re-stating that I have NO flippin clue about football.

Nothing.

Na-Da.

Zill-cho.

What I do know is 2 things:
1. My husband is one hot football coach.
2. Eythen plays center which means he snapps the ball back to the quarterback.

OH! WAIT! I know THREE things:
3. Eythen can do the shot gun when it comes to snapping the ball back to the quarterback.
I have NO flipping clue what it "technically" means ... all I know is that it is a good accomplishment for a 6 year old.

Now that we have this established ... here is the conversation that happened last Friday evening in my household.

I had just put Eythen to bed and was crawling into my own bed when I heard Eythen giggling. I paused for a second thinking maybe I was just hearing things ... nope! There is Eythen giggling again.

I hop out of bed ... and glance down over the upstairs banister ... and I see Eythen sitting ontop of Clint ... who is laying on the couch.

HUH?!?!?!

Me: Eythen! What are you doing out of bed?

Clint: I wanted to show him what his football postition looks like on TV during the football game that is on.

*Eythen has a shit eatin grin on his face as he looks up at me ... kind of like ... Haa Haa Mom ... I am not in bed ... type of grin.*

Me: So ... you are telling me that football is more important than a good night rest?!?!?

Clint: Yeah! That is exactly what I am saying.

*I flash Clint a go to hell look*

Clint: The kid needs to study up on his plays for tomorrow's game.

Me: The kid is only 6!

Clint: All the more reason that he needs to see what professional football players do.

Me: Eythen ... what position do you play in football?

Eythen: Ummmm ... I throw the ball to Kale.

Me: What is your position called.

Eythen: Ummm ... ask Dad ... he is the coach.

*I flash Clint a "I TOLD YOU SO" look*

*Clint rolls his eyes at me*

Clint: Tomorrow Eythen ... let's see how many flags you can pull.

Eythen: OK! Do I get McDonald's no matter how many flags I pull?

*I mouth the words "You better get him McDonald's tomorrow even if he sucks big time at the game"*

*Clint rolls his eyes at me*

Me: Ok Coach ... how many flags should Eythen pull in order to get McDonald's?

This was the point in time where I showed my true colors on not having a CLUE about football!!!

*I was about to announce that Eythen should get EIGHTEEN FLAGS*

*Clint holds up two fingers*

*I quickly bite my tongue and do not announce that I was about to say EIGHTEEN FLAGS*

Clint: Eythen ... you have to pull 2 flags if you wanna eat at McDonald's tomorrow after the football game.

*I mouth the words "You better get my baby chicken nuggets NO MATTER WHAT"*

*Clint rolls his eyes at me*

Me: Just a question ... but why only 2 flags? If the Eythen pulls the flag on any stray kid wondering around aimlessly on the football field he should be able to get ... oh I don't know ... like ... 18 flags?!!?

*Clint rolls his eyes at me*

Clint: Jill ... you only pull the flag from the kid that HAS the ball. Not ANY kid on the football field. What would be the point in that?

*I shrugg my shoulders ... turn around ... and walk back into my room*

Flash forward to the next morning ... which it is POORING down rain ... Clint is coaching ... Eythen is playing football ... Harleigh has a birthday party that she needs to get to so I miss out on becoming a drowned rat at the football game.

*phone rings*

Breeanna: Mom! It is Dad ... but all I can hear is him screaming on the other end!

Me: What?!?!? Give me the phone.

Clint had accidentally "butt dialed" our homeline ... so I sat there listening to the coaches "inside scoop". Which by the way ... is SO much better than sitting on the sidelines not having a CLUE what is going on.

This is what I heard 96.89374% of the time on the other end of the phone ...

Clint: YOU GET IN THERE! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU GOT TO DO! YOU GET IN THERE! PUSH YOUR WAY THROUGH! THAT QUARTER BACK HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE IS DOING! GET HIS FLAG! YOU HEAR ME? GET HIS FLAG IF YOU WANT MCDONALD'S!

Yeah ... I am guessing the samething ... he was talking to Eythen at that point in time as well.

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Another "what the heck" moment ...

2011-09-19T09:42:00.000-05:00

I went to clean the kiddos shower this morning ...

And this is what I found.

I am pretty sure this is Breeanna's doing.

Her showers keep getting longer and longer ...

So I am guessing ... she is finding creative ways to make shampoo come out of the bottle.

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